Some dreams you have to let go

time to talk, Look...we gotta talk
But it's, it's just some things I gotta get off chest, alright?

you say, you always say.
"girl, i want you to belong to me and me only. you re meant to be all mine"
nd i thought to myself, "when hav i ever left you abandoned before?"
"whn have i ever left ure side nd not make you feel wanting?"
then again, i think...
your actions nvr did relate to ure sayings.
if you really wants me so much, wants me to belong to you nd you only,
then why you doing things thts making me running further nd further away from you?
increasing my speed each time.
why didnt you try to stop me down, nd bring me closer back to you?
i wonder, nd i always do.

im not th best girl around, i admit.
im not.
not at all perfect.

why do you act like a parent towards me?
a mother/father who forces me to do things their way, listen with no options.
i rebel to gain my rights, my rightful rights.
like a stranger, you dont trust me.
like a stranger, you dont respect me.

you re my boyf, my life partner, but why you doing this unto me?
its over th past two nd a half yrs i ve been wanting your trust for me, nd if it doesnt sound long enuff, its actually 34months. its been soo long i ve been trying to prove you wht i deserve, my rights, my trust.
whn did i ever break your heart, cheat on you or even say lie? tht i ve to deserve ZERO trust in this r/s.

even you think, you need trust from me. aft many times of breaking my heart, ruining th trust and respect i have fo you, yet i still tried, tried no matter how hard. to allow myself to make you feel belonged to th world. to respect nd treat you right.
nd you telling me i dont deserve yet abit ABIT of trust ?
no, nd i thought to myself. this shouldnt be the way it should be.
for me, for you, for this r/s.
i made sacrifaces, put in my effort, i gave all i have to give. so as to make this love a better one.
to make me th best girlf you wld ever have.
to make you feel all so loved frm midnight to dawn.
have i done smth wrong?
to get this in return for comfort?

i wish i cld give my world to you, but this love is all i can give to you.

i tried, really.
whn i mean i tried, i meant i tried my best.
in asking for th trust i long-ed to have.
th trust i think i deserve to own/have my way.
you broke my heart, but i didnt mean to break yours.
my pride spilled on th floor.
but i swallow em' all jst to give you a lil more face.
havent i done more than enough to make you treat me alil more with respect?

i know, i know.
love cannot be measured
but if lets say, i can use a metre rule to measure th love you have fo me, i wld say i feel, its less than half.
but if you were to use a metre rule to measure my love fo you,
you can find my love overweighs it all.
for you, yes.. its you.
i jst want to see you happy, with tht gleeful cheeky smile.
nd if it means you hav it all plan for us to go seperate ways, i will respect you.
for this tht you ve done in purpose nd force tht break up outta my mouth.


i hope you understand, im not a superwoman. no, mayb not ure wanting.
i give in, i swallow, i make my stand, my point clearly to you.
but i jst cant, and cannot understand why, once and again you re giving me up bcuz of a factor not impt in ure life.
1st, it was games.
nd now, girls.

its all about mutual understanding isnt it?
i cld have, done wht you wanted me to do.
if only you showed me my doings is worthwhile.
but you dont seem to be interested in giving me assurance. i was surrounded by insecurities, do you know?
but i cant force you to.
nd so wht am i left with?
a choice to make on my own.

i walked over, with cold sweat all over.
evry step i tke, thre seems to be this urge of spitting those words out. those words i wrote on my mind.
thre is so much more to say than for me to walk away.
but i cant, when you refuse to,
to even listen patiently to wht i ve gt to say.


was i ever impt to you?
am i living in ure heart, which only stands 1cm of space?
its hurtful to know such facts.
yes, my assumptions. but wht am i to do, to guess, to know.
whn you refuses to tell me anything at all, to even express ure love fo me?
when i walked away, did you count th steps i take?
cause i did.
whn i shut th door, did you turn to see if i secretly peeped back?
or were you too busy on another hand?

i prayed in every step i take, tht i will find you come chasing behind me.
i even closed my eyes nd stand, motionless. in hope of hearing ur footsteps nearing me.
all th time, whn i have hope, i face disappointments.
i shld hav known btr than to pray or hope fo smth like this to happen
cause i felt long ago, i meant nothing to you.

fo all these while, you ve been trying to tell me
i dont earn ure respect,
i dont deserve th trust i hav missed out on for th past 34months.

and now im telling you,
im tired of searching high nd low for th trust you hid away from me.
im tired of trying to spit out words tht you need to hear from me yet feeling so dejected.
im tired of keeping evrything to myself, bcuz i jst knew you wont hear me out.
im tired of arguing my way to let you know my stand.
im tired of forcing you into a talk with me, a heart-to-heart talk.
im real tired to see problems dragging.. i thot i need to find a way to resolve this, but it doesnt jst work on one side, whn you refuses to cooperate.
perhaps its my stubborness tht made me hang on till today, till i finally surrenders it all.

i am no longer interested in winning this game.
bcuz this love was nvr meant to be a game to me.

its a story i heart. one tht i love to read it all over nd over again.
its title--PRECIOUS moments.
its content within first started off with,
th love jouney,
th sex issue,
darby nd elephonie,
stayover nights,
our laughter nd tears,
th break up,
togetherness,
girls issue,
caught red-handed,
boys issue,
late night outs not acceptable,
smoking,
fuss nd fights,
clubbing,
your friends, my friends,
genting trip,
th unfair title,
nd here's th goodbye.

I can’t hold on
To what I want when I’m stretched so thin
It’s all too much to take in
I can’t hold on
To anything, watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in.

All that surrounds you were secrets and lies
You were my strength you are my high dream.
till th day i kept falling nd falling, failing to learn my lesson. you were still my dream.
now, i found my way. to stand up on my own, to pull myself tgt, nd walk away from you.

We are the same kind in many ways
we share the same disease, we are lunatics
and mad about adrenalin
and there is no way of stopping us
we stick to our addiction, but finally
the winner's only one of us
there's been a lot of fuss and fight on our way
and now there's only one thing left to say


when it's getting rough
and you're best is not enough


I don't cry for sorrow, I cry with joy
The memories we've made can't be destroyed
You know I won't forget you
You know I never could
And when I say I loved you
You know I meant for good

I'm well aware of how it aches
Though I don't like you anymore
You lying, trying waste of space


im sorry, but i really cant bring myself to give in anymore. thre isnt any space fo me to move further in. with no sense, no worth, no point.
you took my trust and played with it.
you took my faith nd destroyed it.
you took th respect i hold fo you, nd step it with ure own feet.

you kept your trust, nd doubt me.
you kept th faith nd mis-used it.
you kept th respect i deserve nd gave others.

you scarifaced time for nothingness to show me. jst so you can shut me up.

I had such high hope
We were what I believed in
I'm not one to give up
I feel defeated,and broken,and busted right open
I'm jaded and empty,this is not who I wanna be

I've stayed for so long cause I couldn't see me without you
But I have to ask myself
What am I holding on too
A feeling,a dream that's been leaving,it hurts me too hate you when I love you like I do.
We just can't go on
Pretending that we get along


How do you let go? when you..
You just don't know? What's gg on,
The other side of the door
When you're walking out, talk about it and
Everything I tried to remember to say
Just went out my head
So imma do the best I can to get you to understand
Cause I know..

here's my best.


We've tried it your way,tried it my way
we've tried everything but the highway.

lastly, i appreciate th times you dote on me like a baby.
when you protected me from dirty boys.
when you can make my smile last 1entire night, making me dream of ure niceness nd wanting for more.
i know you loved me, jst how much.

to make this decision was nvr easy.
but to see you not wanting me hurts more than this.

An angel's smile is what you sell
you promise me heaven,
then put me through hell
Chains of love, got a hold on me
when passion's a prison,
you can't break free.