Some dreams you have to let go

grandpa, if it means you re tired of living, struggling thru illnesses nd pain, then go ahead nd leave. let god tke you in hand nd give you a peaceful mind. at least, you wont hav to suffer anymore.

you know how much it hurts to see scenarios like this? everyone asking someone to leave to th netherworld? to leave every worries aside nd pass on peacefully.

today was th worst day ever, its been so long ever since i need to hold back my tears nd put on a brave front. looking strong nd easy, comforting ppl when how much it hurts inside as well.
normally, grandpa sees me, he will nod nd smile... nd everyone believe i can make my grandfather drink water when he refuses nd etc. but today, i failed. i did not. my grandmother was like asking me to feed him drink, my aunty was hurrying me into his room, asking me to wake him up nd all, but none of them i did it right. i took a long time to wake him up to acknowledge my presense, nd he refused to hav a sip of water.

he jst went on into his deeep sleep, refuse to wake up, to open his eyes, to tke a look at everyone.
it seems like no doctors can cure him. its him, who gave up on himself, prolly he is jst too tired of living on, thinking tht he is a burden to all, or he is tooo tired struggling on since a yr ago.
yet the look on his face shows tht, he is confused. he doesnt seem like he wanna leave, cuz his face tells a hundred words. how much worries he hav tht he cannot bring them along with him.

knw wht? its only from th drama series tht i ever seen someone kinda unconcious yet tears flowing outta his/her eyes.
but today, i saw it with my own blood shot eyes. i saw how he teared while having his eyes closed tight, seemingly unconcious. we all know, thou he seems like this, he actually felt our presense, the way we held on his hand tight, calling his name, greeting him, telling him how bright th day is alr, nd trying to wake him up in th night.
he teared... he actually knew wht was gg on. his emotion still triggers deep inside him.
he cant bear to leave, he couldnt make up his mind. but yet he jst kept rejecting medicines nd anything tht will make him feel btr. mayb he is really feeling unwell.
i dont understand why.
perhaps only he knows wht he want.
nd till th one day, whtever decision he made, we ll strongly respect his will.

all i can say is,
im not ready to lose you yet.
not until you can leave ur worries aside, th whtevr is troubling you.
so please, please stay,
dont let god tke you away.
dont ...