Some dreams you have to let go

HEAR ME RANT FOR NUTS.
its not baby's problem, guess its me.

hais. tht incident strike into my head again... all over, ONCE again.
i know many will ask me not to think of it or be reminded of it again, but i cant.
its smth i cannot control. my thinking, it didnt wander, it jst read from wht i ve seen nd been thru.
it even distracted boyf's love for me. sigh~


i've been feeling down. i dont know why im feeling this way somehow all the time.
is it true? schl is gonna bring us apart?
i havent seen you coming over my place to acc me after my schl hrs.
to make yourself free for dinner with me, when im all alone.
why is it me, then u'll feel tired? i knw i cant blame, so i dont.
actually, i didnt wanna cal you nd ask you to acc me for dinner, cuz i guessed i ll get rejected.
but i jst thought, its a hope. ended up, its still th same. even thou expected, but i still feel tht sudden sadness. i know im sooo lame to be thinking in this way, but its jst a feeling hard to describe. its not abt this.
why doesnt you seem like you re interested to meet up at all?
is it tht we can only spend time tog during weekends? when we cld hav, even during weekdays.

how long ago was it tht you last shown your care nd concern for me?
th last time we chatted on the phone till late night, laughing our way thru dawn?
we held hands and scrolled along the beach talking of our future?
cam-whoring of our retarded looks, sweeet picas?
your last sweet msges tht made my smile?
i know sweet talks aint true or rather may not be true compared to actions shown.
but now, all i wished for is only those sweetie words from you tht make my smile last thru my night.
i want them, rather i think i need it to last thru.

urrghh.
-and this really made my heart sink a bit.
it's proven that when its one sided, its of no use.
still, i love you deep deep.